The Joys of Driving

Because the neighborhood apartment cabana is being remodeled, we have been holding our neighborhood homework club at a local church.  I wasn’t very happy when this first developed.  Everything about it smelled like extra work.

One of the downsides was that we would have to shuttle our neighborhood kids back and forth.  And one of the blessings that I never saw coming… we would have to shuttle our neighborhood kids back and forth!  Haha!  I’m always stunned at how God takes something I perceive as bad, and uses it to be the very thing that creates new opportunities.

What made shuttling the kids back and forth such a joy were the conversations. To and from club, these kids have the freedom to just share what’s on their minds and they often ask nonstop questions.  These talks have led to deeper relationships and talking about meatier things than even in our teaching times, when discussion is more structured. 

Today, I was once again surprised when the situation I dreaded ended up as a blessing.

Shane and Benjamin were back at it.  The minute we drove up to the church’s homework club, they took off.  I tracked them down, hearing giggling and shushing in the bathroom. We had recently attended camp where the boys should probably have been sent home but much grace was extended to them.  I felt today needed to be a day where boundaries were enforced. “Hey guys, you have 2 minutes to come out and participate respectfully or else you will be choosing to go home.”  I waited outside the bathroom for the 2 minute deadline.  No response. 

After sending a male leader in to bring them out, the boys had a million excuses about why they should not be sent home.  Today, I knew we needed to follow through on the consequences set before them, loving but firm discipline.  “Do you want me to drive you home or would you prefer if I call your parents to come pick you up?”

I was sure this 10 minute drive home was going to be horrific. I expected swearing, arguments, I even had run the scenario through my head of what I would do if one of them jumped out during the drive. 

The boys got in calmly.  We drove by a radar speed sign. “Miss Annie, you are going 33 mph.  The speed limit on this road is 30 mph.”

“Have you ever been in jail, Miss Annie?  I don’t want to go to jail… I remember when my dad went to jail.  We were all crying.  Even my brothers were crying.”

“Yeah.  I remember when my dad went to jail too… I don’t want to do drugs.  That stuff just gets you in trouble.”

“Yeah.  My mom’s in treatment.  She would have graduated the other day except she slept through her graduation.  Now she’s got to start all over.  I forgot to wake her up.”

The boys talked and talked without a break for me to respond, sharing their experiences and hurts and desires.  Things I guessed about but never really knew.  Finally there was a place to talk about self-control and using my fast driving as an example, we talked about the good things that can happen when you obey rules instead of breaking them and the difference it can make in your life when you learn these lessons as kids. 

As we pulled up I wanted to leave them with something positive, “Boys, thank you so much for being so respectful to me on the way home.  I appreciated how you used your self-control during a hard situation.  You never even called me a bad name.” 

They looked at me incredulously, “Miss Annie, we would never do that!” 

Who knew driving kids to a different location would open so many opportunities?  Hmmm… it looks like God did!

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 ⁵ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

Until Every Boy and Girl Knows Him,

Annie Crain

*Names always changed.

Going to Camp Part 2: The Boys

Let me start by saying, I wasn’t surprised. 

I knew it was going to be risky sending my neighborhood homework club boys to camp.  I knew 3 of the 5 would be amazing and 2 of the 5 boys, well, it would be miraculous if we didn’t have to send them home early.  One of these boys isn’t even allowed to be in a regular classroom at school.  Why did I ever think he could make it 2 nights at camp? 

I warned the camp leadership team and asked their approval to bring my neighborhood kids, who would be mixing with mostly church kids.  The leadership said they wanted them especially since I would be around to help deal with issues.

A couple of weeks before camp, wildcard #1, Benjamin asked, “Miss Annie, can Shane not be in the same cabin as me? I want to make good choices at camp.  I’m maturing.  Can we be separated?”  I was proud of him for even thinking it, but I knew they would have to be together and would actually need each other to feel comfortable in this setting.  But his comments gave me the idea to write up a contract laying out my expectations.  Each parent could review it with their child.  I didn’t want kids or parents to be caught off guard if we needed to send someone home early. 

The contract read in part, “I will show my maturity at camp by striving to follow the 4 R’s:  Respect Others, Respect God, Respect Property, Respect Myself… Not following the 4 R’s will result in consequences; this could mean coming home early.  Following the 4 R’s will result in new friends, a lot of fun and a great experience for you and others!  (I KNOW YOU CAN DO GREAT!)”

I really struggled with that last sentence.  I wanted so much to give them a positive encouragement that I believed they could. I wanted so much for them to be successful and make it from the beginning to the end of camp!  But inside, I knew this would be a stretch, for everyone!

Three of the most experienced male leaders, who really had a heart for the unreached neighborhood kids, said they were up for the challenge.  But I knew, these weren’t the kind of kids this volunteer staff normally hung out with; it would be a 48 hour test of their manhood, even with an awesome high-school leader added.

The first test came like a lightning storm.  We weren’t at camp two hours when I got the first complaint, “We really don’t want to send them home but… we’ve already had serious issues with the boys… called the children’s director a horrible name… running off… pushing…”  The list went on.

Nothing surprised me.  Their overwhelmed parents let them run freely in the neighborhood.  They hang out with older tough boys and hear and participate in things they shouldn’t.  Trouble is what they see in the mirror. 

I had a heart to heart, “Miss Annie, I am telling the truth.  I wouldn’t lie to you. Maybe everyone else, but not you...  You mean that is a bad word?  I didn’t know that. Yes, I will apologize…  Don’t send me home, Miss Annie!”

I would have sent them home the first day, but this group of men continually fought for these boys.  Just as one leader would reach his breaking point, the other 2 would talk him out of it: “These boys need to be here more than anyone else.”  “Where are they ever going to hear this if they can’t stay here?” “This could change their lives.” “Camp changed my life when I was a kid.”

It’s not surprising that the camp theme was on God’s armor and spiritual warfare.  I expected to get a call during the night, but we made it to the second day.  Restless during the night, I determined, “It’s really not fair to these leaders or kids. I need to intervene and just take them home.”

I went to talk to their leader about my plan, “How are you doing?”

“Standing firm! This morning as I was praying for these boys, our Ephesians verse jumped off the page at me.  ‘Stand Firm!’  That’s what I’m going to do!”

How could I argue with that?

As the three-day-weekend went on, we were able to take a few steps to make the weekend more successful.  Neither of the boys read nor wrote at expected grade-level.  Once we gave them permission not to keep up with “fill-in-the-blank” during teaching time, they seemed to settle in and listen more. 

The music leaders encouraged kids to come to the front and help lead motions or dance during worship time.  My kids loved that!  Even during the slow contemplative songs they appeared worshipful.  In fact one of them was singing a worship song when he walked into the girls’ bathroom. 

Yes, the girls’ bathroom!  I knew they were going home then.  I had the youth leader who reported it show me exactly what she saw so I would know what to tell their parents.  When we went in to reenact the crime, we found 5 more little church boys in the bathroom.  Whew! Saved by group incrimination.

Neither of these boys has their biological dad living with them. What a gift they received seeing real men who love God, who played with them, who held them accountable to boundaries, who worshipped with them, taught them about Jesus, fought for them, and played with them some more.  Things God’s men do!

The following week one of their leaders recounted, “I really think there is a lot of hope for those boys.  Thank you for bringing them.  I think they really got a lot out of camp.  I saw their tender side. The last day I looked over and saw Shane writing, ‘I love God!  I love Jesus!’ in huge letters across his booklet! God was at work.”

The boys made it through camp!  Well, maybe I am a little surprised… and grateful!

Until Every Boy and Girl Knows Jesus,

-Annie Crain

*Names of kids always changed.

Going to Camp Part 1: The Girls

Have you ever witnessed kids in the middle of a growth spurt? It seems they eat and eat and eat and just can’t get enough!  And then almost overnight they are 6” taller.

“That was the first time I ever prayed out loud, Miss Annie.”

“But I thought you said you girls prayed for the football team to win earlier today?”

“Yeah, and that was the first time I prayed with my friends. We just prayed to ourselves though. But tonight was the first time I prayed out loud!”

Teresa was beaming here at overnight camp.  She had worked hard to get to this camp by helping with a fundraising pancake breakfast.  Teresa and a couple other neighborhood girls from our homework club were in my group, along with a couple of church regulars.  They were loving everything about camp: the food, the playground with swings, the worship time, the speakers, the “Minute-to-Win-It” competitions, the game time, bonfire and the other kids and leaders.  They were soaking it all in!

In the morning Teresa asked, “Last night, would you have gotten mad at me if I turned my flashlight on under my covers after ‘lights out’?”

Last year when we went to this camp, it was Teresa’s first time spending the night ANYWHERE!  So I thought she was asking because she had been a little scared at night, “Probably not if it was just for a few minutes and you weren’t talking to anyone.”

“Ok.  I wanted to read my Bible under my covers, but I thought you might get mad.”

“Well you can do that for a few minutes tonight if you want!”  Delighted, I almost sang the words.

Joslinn, new to the neighborhood, met me one day as she got off the bus.  I was walking my dogs past her home.  After I found out she was Teresa’s friend, we got her to join us for the pancake breakfast to raise money for camp.  She hadn’t even been to our homework club yet but she loved working at the breakfast.  Since she had a school friend going to camp, she wanted to go and her mother felt safe sending her. “Miss Annie, this is the first time I’ve been to camp or church or anything…  I’ve never heard of anyone coming back to life after they were dead.  I don’t get it!”

What great dialogue we had!  In this environment, feeling safe with her friend there, she was so open to hear and discuss and think.  I didn’t push Joslinn.  She wasn’t ready to commit her life to Jesus but wow, her understanding of Jesus and his people grew exponentially. 

After just two days and two nights of concentrated time FEASTING on God and His goodness and love, fellowshipping in kid ways with His people, I could almost see these girls grow 6”… Spiritually!

Do you know a kid who could benefit from a growth spurt?  For these girls, going to Christian camp with a friend was a great growth catalyst! 
 
Until Every Girl and Boy Knows Him,

Annie

*Names of kids always changed.
**For a smile, check out the “Car Seat Dancer” link on the blog sidebar, under “Fun Videos”

Starting the New Year with Old Socks

What did you get in your  Christmas Sock this year?  My neighborhood kids got something unexpectedly amazing!

Last year I took some of my club kids to a church camp for 4th-6th graders over Martin Luther King weekend.  It was a great time of growth and fun!  Most of my kids had never had an opportunity to go to camp before and needed scholarships.  The church generously helped support us.

But I also have a burden to help my kids not become dependent on others’ generosity.  In fact, reading my Bible once, I had a heavy thought. GOD CREATED WORK BEFORE SIN!  That means when He said everything was GOOD, it included WORK!  Since then, I’ve noticed people without a job or purpose seem to lose heart.  I want my club kids to learn work is good and they have a purpose.  

Fast forward several months.  My church had a sermon series on “Spiritual Conversations”.  This day’s message identified the power of working side-by-side as a community for a cause, both with Christians and those who aren’t yet. 

Right after the service one of the leaders on the camp planning committee made a B-line for me.  “Are you going to bring your kids to retreat again this year?” 

To be honest, it was still several months away and I hadn’t thought about it.  I could think of several reasons it couldn’t really happen but inquired, “Ummm…Well, do you want them to come?”

My question was met with an emphatic, “YES!” 

“Well let’s pray about it then and see what God does.”

What kept coming back to me was the sermon, “working together side-by-side”.  “Hmmm… What about a breakfast fundraiser?  ‘Send Our Kids to Camp’ = SOKC.  Maybe a Christmas SOKC breakfast?”

My neighborhood has a little community club.  Last year they surprised me by letting me use it rent free for a kids event.  I wondered… would they be that giving again? Looking at my calendar, there was really only one date I WANTED to do the event, December 6th, but I decided I should let God control my calendar.  This would be His birthday present from me.  I would work my schedule around whatever they offered.  The reply came.  There was only one date available in all of December, Dec. 6th!

I have a bad habit of coming up with MY ideas and pushing them through so I thought I should get kid input before I went further.  My first text response came quickly, “YES! When can we do it?  Can I cook?” 

Then life got complicated.  With an illness in the family, I was gone for a couple of weeks.  Upon returning, I had one week before the breakfast and NOTHING had been done.  

“Lord,” I begged, “I don’t know if there is time to do this now! I could easily cancel.  If You want this to happen, will you find me a helper… or 5?  There is so much to do, and besides just the food, there is promoting and DECORATING.  There is no way I can do this myself.  Help!”

That day I heard angelic words from a neighbor, “I was at the community club and heard you are having a breakfast.  Could I help? I put on a Christmas party there every year for my bicycling club.  I have all the tablecloths and decorations.” 

With 6 days left, I hastily made a flyer and handed it out to a few people at church.  Two days later I had 8 quality people to help (neighbors, friends, Christian and not), groceries and 6 kids excited to work who joined me in handing out flyers in the neighborhood. 

Our breakfast was amazing! Well, it started and ended a little kid crazy, but the breakfast itself was far better than I could have imagined! 

In my new desire to let people take ownership and do the work they enjoy, I tried to come up with the categories and then let both leaders and kids sign up for what they wanted to do.  The kids who cooked did it with enthusiasm.  I don’t think most of them had ever cooked using anything besides a microwave before.  They learned to wash their hands, crack eggs without too many shells, flip pancakes, and not to get too close to a hot skillet.  Some of these lessons were hard-learned but the kids were thrilled. 

The servers served with generosity and beautiful smiles.  I heard customers surprised, “We got such big portions.  This was great.  It was much different than most fundraisers.”

No one was in a hurry to leave.  Our guests stuck around and visited with each other.  Even people who didn’t know anyone else.  Our kids had huge, genuine smiles that looked like the happiness of a job well-done! 

One of my non-Christian neighbors is a great salesperson.  She was thrilled to teach the kids how to greet customers, explain the camp and cost and escort guests to the dining line.  The kids who worked in this area not only sat and visited with customers when there wasn’t anyone to greet but they also got an amazing lesson in how to run a business.  My friend worked with them to figure out gross and net profits, among other things.  At the end she was beaming almost as much as the kids! “We did it!  I can’t believe we made enough for every one of these kids to go to camp!  And your congregation was SO GENEROUS!”

But so much more happened than just procuring money for camp!  I believe the impact on the lives of these local kids was deep!  Alongside some great role-models, they learned how to work… the kind of work that is “Very good!” They got to serve generous people and put faces to those dollars, learning that support comes from real people! My prayer is that this example will teach them to be generous as well. And hey, they learned some business and interpersonal skills while they were at it, too!

The JOY of WORK!    What a great stocking stuffer! 

Until Every Boy and Girl Knows Him!

-Annie

PS.  We just got back from camp… more about that will be coming soon!